I evidently did something to my neck, and I don’t know what it is. I can’t turn my head more than a few degrees to either side without feeling sharp pangs of excruciating pain. I’d be fine with this if at least I knew exactly what it was that I did, just so I could avoid doing it again. I don’t know if it was just sleeping in an awkward position, accidentally spraining it during one of my many unhinged rock-out sessions in the privacy of my room or any of the devious sex acts I habitually partake in. Regardless, the result is my total inability to turn sideways without having to move my entire torso, like Michael Keaton in Tim Burton’s “Batman”. I’m bedridden and thoroughly bored. And what does one do on the Internet when one is thoroughly bored? One trolls Youtube video comments.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:
the oblivious, humorless face of the internet.