Mondays get a bad rap. Every one of your Facebook friends, every hack comedian on a stage, every misanthropic orange tabby with an eating disorder who communicates through thought bubbles– everyone’s constantly ganging up on Mondays. And I get it. It’s a completely understandable hatred. First day of the working week, after the relaxing (or debaucherous) weekend, back in the cubicle, probably nursing a ridiculous hangover, muttering bitterly “fuck this day, man, why can’t we just have a second Sunday?”. As if the existence of an eighth day in the week would somehow eliminate the need for a Monday.
And they always come so quickly. Increasingly so as time slips by, with each consecutive week taking up a smaller percentage of our total lifespan. Weekends seem shorter and more fleeting, therefore scarcer and more precious. Mondays are seen as the overzealous helicopter parent who shows up early to pick us up from the party, prying us from the delicious stagnancy of the weekend and unceremoniously dumping us back into routine.
But to me, Mondays have always been so much easier than Tuesdays. Mondays are kinder. Mondays are slower. Everything and everybody around you seems to understand that you’re gradually easing back into the grind, so the workload feels much lighter, my colleagues seem so more compassionate, every meeting has that overriding feeling of “okay, gang, let’s just get through this”. Tuesday, though, Tuesday is cruel, Tuesday is vicious, Tuesday is merciless– on Tuesday, the gloves are off, you’re effectively in the week and people have no qualms about smothering you with work and pulling you in hundreds of different directions. And for all the whining people do about the start of the week, I think they just resent the fact that they even have to work for a living, and they use Monday as a scapegoat. Poor Monday did nothing wrong. Tuesday is the real enemy.
But you can fight back. I present this ass-kicking 38-minute playlist I lovingly put together to aid you. Let’s hadoken Tuesday into submission with these high-octane pumped-up jams. Together, we can get through this.
Die Antwoord- “Fatty Boom Boom”
Girlfriends- “Bernie Mac Attack”
Baroness- “Psalms Alive”
Kongos- “I’m Only Joking”
Sergio Mendoza Y La Orkesta- “Mambo Mexicano”
Ostrander Aardvark- “Panther Panther”
Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears- “Sugarfoot”
Jessy Bulbo- “Maldito”
Click here to play: