This is a picture of two friendly goats I found on the Internet. Aren’t they cute? Don’t you want to reach out and pet them? They’re there to remind me that the poor creatures aren’t inherently scary or evil, no matter how hard my subconscious (drawing from the influence of decades of Judeo-Christian interpretations of pagan imagery) tries to convince me otherwise.
You see, I saw a very different goat a couple of days ago. It definitely didn’t look as approachable and friendly as the two beauties posted above. No, what I saw was a tall, dark, horned figure, standing on two hooves, wearing a long green cape that draped over the floor. This malevolent Baphomet was nothing but menacing, pacing impatiently beside my bed, occasionally leering at me with eyes so frightening that I wanted to scream my lungs out. But I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t turn away. I couldn’t even move my arms. I was experiencing an episode of what is known as “sleep paralysis”– a phenomenon in which the body is frozen stiff upon waking, fully able to perceive the world around you yet incapable of actually moving. This usually lasts for a few seconds and is often accompanied by hallucinations, ranging from innocuous to spine-chillingly terrifying. Thankfully for you, this time around, it was the latter.
Also thankfully for you (?!), I decided to record a podcast about it! And to counteract the drab creepiness of hearing a guy struggle through describing his encounter with an imaginary goat-demon, I also decided to play some bitchin’ tunes, rant about how much Siamese Dream by the Smashing Pumpkins rules, berate people for not listening to music in languages other than English, and come to terms with the multiplicity of opinions expressed on the Internet. You can enjoy all of this AND MORE by clicking the nifty embedded player BELOW:
The aforementioned bitchin’ tunes featured in this podcast are:
Ginger & The Ghost- “Where Wolf”
Smashing Pumpkins- “Mayonnaise”
The Thermals- “A Stare Like Yours”
María Pien- “Fantasía en G Para un Pueblo al Sur del Mapa”
Dead Leaf Echo- “Kingmaker”
Stiff Little Fingers- “Suspect Device”
Bronze- “Sunny Day”
Lisa Hannigan & Ray LaMontagne- “O Sleep”
The intro music is Charles Mingus’s “Hora Decubitus”. In the background, you’ll also hear songs by The Notwist, Kevin Drew, Clever Girl, Chemical Brothers, Eddie & The Hot Rods and others. However, these are obscured by the sound of my rambling, which I apologize for. Still, I do hope you enjoy this rambly broadcast– the ‘podcast’ portion of this blog is a lot of fun for me, and something I definitely plan to do more of. So you better get used to it, punk.